SQ Wisdom: Doing My Best (As we face life or school exams...)

Proverbs 14:23  (The Message), "Hard work always pays off; mere talk puts no bread on the table."

Hard-working is a precious value, but it is never an excuse for hiding our anxiety about life.  Hard-working is a mean and never an end in itself.  Hard-working is placed in the rhythm of rest.  Hard work always pays off when we are well-rested and recharged.  Parents' example of work hard may instill proper values and habits for our children.  Parents' own habits and modeling inspire our children to try their best too.  Hard work can be achieved through positive self-talk and positive behaviors.

Three positive statements may help us face life challenges: as it applies to our children in preparation for the exam while taking the exam and after the exam.  They are: "I will do my best," "I am doing my best," and "I have done my best."

Preparing for the exam: "I will do my best."

As we set our goals for work and encourage our children to set goals for studying, speaking positively to ourselves and each other is important. "I will do my best."  Repeating this positive statement will put us in a reliable place to yield effective actions to achieve the goals we set.  The five positive acts to follow are: eat, sleep, study, exercise, and play.  

When we eat well and sleep adequately, we can study with enough energy and focus.  Eating a balanced meal is closely related to enough sleep.  Eating well helps sleep quality.  Sleep well also helps with appetite.  Adults need 6-8 hours of sleep daily.  Our children may need 8-10 hours of sleep.  This may be one of the most significant challenges--- getting adequate sleep.  Adequate sleep also enhances memory consolidation.  Good sleep helps with energy, focus, memory consolidation, and it benefits recalling reviewed materials.

We can also help our children find the optimal time frame for sitting down to learn and revise.  Some may find 30 minutes optimal; others may view 60 minutes as the limit before becoming fidgety.  The body will then go into repair mode and memory consolidation.  The body may need some food, exercise, or play to recharge and to re-create in between.  Finding the right rhythm of work/study and rest will build a habit of optimal performance.  

While taking the exam: "I am doing my best."

Help ourselves and our children to find the balance between calmness and alertness.  My favorite example is a cat at rest with full alertness.  First, practice diaphragmatic breathing together with our children to achieve a state of calmness and alertness.  Second, teach them to read the exam instructions.  Third, think about how to approach the questions and then put them down in writing.  These steps will promote clarity and rather than reactivity.  By practicing these steps and saying, "I am doing my best," we can be calm, alert, and focus.  We can express the result of our hard work.  Even more, we can show the effect of smart work because we have slowed down enough to think.

After the exam: "I have done my best."

This positive statement helps us to gain the right balance between reflection and moving forward.  By self-affirming, we actually give credit to our hard work.  Any self-deprecating remarks will put us in the pit of regrets and hinder our progress.  The results may not be what we are aiming for, but we can review and reflect on how to improve it.  We may need to think or strategize more before the exam on how to study better, read the instructions more carefully, or give more precise and more detailed answers.  These new insights will need to translate into a new form of preparation and a new learning habit.  We can move on if we gain confidence in handling the problem.  

"Doing my best" is not to chase after another person's goal.  "Doing my best" is to create the best conditions for myself.  "Doing my best" is to discover the right balance between work and rest, calmness and alertness, reflection, and moving forward.