Part 1 of 4: SQ Adolescents, Our Future Leaders (Myths and Facts)

These 4 blogs focus on exploring adolescents as our future leaders.  In the next few weeks, we will look at “Adolescent Mental Health,” “Adolescent Friendships,” and “Adolescent Sexuality.”

Besides being an infant, adolescent years are one of the fastest-changing experiences.  Their brain, physique, emotions, thinking, and social lives are all changing so fast that both parents and adolescents need extra support to understand what is going on.  They need honest feedback from adults, not only from their peers, about how they are doing and what they are doing in light of the greater family, social, cultural and spiritual context.  

Proverbs 16:13

Good leaders cultivate honest speech; they love advisors who tell them the truth.

Parents serve as good leaders.  Parents are not always insisting that they are right.  Good parents are the one who learns alongside their children.  Parents listen well and speak with wisdom.  They know and accept their adolescents’ strengths and weaknesses.   They can build profound and long-lasting relationships together.  They walk through the peaks and valleys of life.  Parents have the unique advantage of listening and sharing stories of triumphs and failures.  Parents can dispel the myths and discover the facts together with their children.

Myth #1:  Adolescent years are also called the “rebellious years.”

Fact #1:  Adolescent does not have to be rebellious.  Those who do not have proper relationships or tumultuous times with their significant others may act out and behave rebelliously.  Most adolescents are surrounded by good relationships that foster cooperation and discipline.  They are goal-directed and have a strong sense of self with confidence.

Myth #2:  Adolescents are teens aged 13 to 19.

Fact #2:  Adolescents’ phenomenon is shaped by the brain, culture, and social relationships.  It is not limited by how old they are.  Psychologically, it can start as young as when they are encouraged to be independent.  Physically, puberty begins as young as 9 or 10 years of age because of the interaction of nutrition and genes.  We gain a better understanding by looking at the children who are thrown into taking care of themselves early on without the benefits of both parents around.  Adolescent behaviors can extend itself to the advanced age of thirties or beyond.  Just notice those thirty-some living with their parents who are acting like a spoiled brat or those who are married acting as if they are still single.   Individuals need to go through emotional independence and gain responsibilities for themselves and others.  We call this normal process “Separation and Individuation.” 

Myth #3:  Adolescents are just kids.

Fact #3:  Adolescents are just as responsible as adults if they are provided with the appropriate amount of challenges.  Adolescents are just as wise as adults if they are provided with adequate opportunities to live, make choices, suffer, and struggle through life issues.  These healthy adolescents are the ones who are physically, emotionally, socially, and spiritually integrated and in-synced within and without. 

Screening for healthy adolescent development, my teen:

➢    Engages in behavior that supports a healthy lifestyle, such as eating healthy foods, being active…

➢    Is good at doing a certain things like music, math, cooking, or making friends.

➢    Has at least one responsible adult in her life who cares and be able to talk to.

➢    Has at least one friend or a group of friends with whom she is comfortable.

➢    Helps others individually or by working with a team in a school, a church, or a community.

➢    Can bounce back from life’s disappointments.

➢    Has a sense of hopefulness and self-confidence.

➢    Has become more independent and made more of her own decisions.

Proverbs 16:15

Good-tempered leaders invigorate lives; they're like spring rain and sunshine.