Part 2 of 4: Adolescent Mental Health

Statistics

Proverbs 15:13

A cheerful heart brings a smile to your face; a sad heart makes it hard to get through the day.

“About 60% of the Hong Kong secondary school students had symptoms of depression and about 40% suffering from anxiety,” according to the survey conducted by the Christian Family Service Centre and the Hong Kong Polytechnic University’s School of Nursing between 2011 to 2014.

"Half of the secondary students showed signs of depression and a quarter of them had considered suicide," according to a study by Hong Kong Institute of Education and Baptist Oi Kwan Social Service in 2015.  And girls’ depression and anxiety seem to be more common than boys'.  About 20% of those surveyed showed moderate and severe symptoms. 

Fortunately, short-term sadness and worries are a gentle reminder that something is not going right.  It propels us to change our attitudes or change our behaviors to make things right.  If we drag it out too long, these gentle reminders will turn into loud screams and shouts to get our attention.

Solutions

Proverbs 17:22

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Adolescents are grabbling with fast pace changes within and without their world.  What may crush the spirits of our teens?  Harsh words from friends or family may crush.  Stress and an overextended schedule may be crushing.  Even a self-critical voice and unforgiving attitude against oneself may crush the fragile developing self-image.  As time passes, a crushed spirit may dry up the bones, sucks up life energy, and brings the whole person down into the pits of depression.  However, the good news is that a cheerful heart comes to the rescue.

Affirming words may build a cheerful heart.  Parents’ words are powerful because our children are hungry for it.  We often say things we do not mean.  However, words and gestures reflect our inner attitudes and values.  Our words and gestures shape the response and reactions of our kids.  When they hear affirming words, they act more motivated.  They fight back if they perceive criticism and attack. 

Gentle words also calm the spirits.  Our emotions are often a barometer of the stress and storms around us.  Our feelings flare up when we hear harsh and violent words.  Our feelings calm down when we hear gentle and friendly words.  Kind words from others certainly help, and gentle words to one-self are even more significant.  Teenagers learn to talk to themselves after years of being told who they are.  They develop self-talks after years of practice, either with affirming words or self-deprecating words. 

Proverbs 10:21

The lips of the righteous nourish many, but fools die for lack of sense (Proverbs 10:21)

Parents who walk their talks say sorry and repair broken relationships do gain the respect of their kids.  Their lips will nourish the body, soul, and spirits of all those they speak to.  Parents who practice the “Developmental Relationship” frameworks will give and nourish life. (Please review the previous blog, i.e., express care, challenge growth, provide support, share power and expand possibilities. )

Proverbs 11:24

The world of the generous gets larger and larger; the world of the stingy gets smaller and smaller.

Parents, who give and nourish life, are full of positive thoughts, creative ideas and hopeful possibilities.  They are not stingy with their words, nor limited by their narrow thinking pattern and poverty of ideas.  As parents, we can reflect upon our upbringing and reexamine the words we heard when growing up.  We slowly change our internal dialogues and rewrite our script of parenting.  We mature and become more flexible in allowing our teens to explore different ideas and allow them room to develop through trials and errors.  Parents who open up these creative spaces will, in turn, learn from their teens about new technologies, new approaches, and new ways of living.  The whole family grows together, learns together.