SQ Wisdom: The Power of Wise Words
TIMELY Words: Rash language cuts and maims, but there is healing in the words of the wise. Proverbs 12:18-19 (The Message)
In my busy schedule, I want my child to respond obediently to my words of instruction or respond appreciatively to my words of care. Sometimes, I am so full of anxiety and anger that my spoken words bring regret and guilt. How I wish that I can rewind the tape and start all over. I am learning to be in touch with my emotions first, deal with my hurts, and not say words out of spite. Say something uplifting and constructive when I am calmer. Say it in a timely manner and not in a rush.
MEASURED Words: The more talk, the less truth; the wise measure their words. Proverbs 10:19 (The Message)
I need to measure my words. I need to stop and think first before uttering unhelpful words with intense emotions. A few things may help, such as taking a deep breath, walk away from the situation, and hold our tongues. When we calm down, we can engage with wiser words. If none of these methods improve the old pattern, seek further help.
GRACIOUS Words: A wise person gets known for insight; gracious words add to one's reputation. Proverbs 16:21 (The Message)
I need to choose gracious and insightful words to say. Whenever I practice gracious words, it builds a closer relationship. Whenever I practice insightful words, it strengthens the relationship. Gracious words come from a forgiven heart. If we have forgiven ourselves for past failures, we tend to have a more gentle and gracious demeanor. If we accept our inadequacies, we tend to speak with grace and appreciation. These wise words are not simply factual. These words respond to the heart, the emotions behind the words, the human needs behind the emotions. These wise words will satisfy the hunger of the heart cry.
I have been learning these lessons by heart and also conscious that my child is modeling after me.
Thank you for the sharing this morning, I enjoyed it. As a follow-up, I would like to ask further on the question of "friend-circle" bullying mentioned in the discussion. Two close friends (classmates) of my daughter were not happy with my daughter's getting along with another girl whom they disliked, and they took her glasses and put some glittering power on it. My daughter was not happy but she did not say a word. She came back and told me about it. What kind words I can say to comfort and guide her and should I inform the teacher about it?
ReplyDeleteAs we discussed, the "friendship-circle" can be a good place for our girls to learn intimacy and sharing secrets. However, when the circle turns into bullying behaviors, we need to say NO. For this example, as parents we can first give a word of affirmation on what she did well (I know that its hard for you and I appreciate that you are helping me to understand more), then follow up with an open question to learn about what happened (What did you see or hear?). Then, we can analyse the situation together to see if she took any assertive steps to say NO, to inform a teacher or to confront her friends. Our goal is to develop her critical thinking, process emotions and formulate assertive behaviors.
DeleteIt’s beneficial for the students to feel more empowered and protected as they directly inform a teacher. It is also the policy of any school to investigate and follow up with any possible hint of bullying behaviours.
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